Open Brain. Release Fog.

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," September 11, 2008. I'm the regular host, Anne Johnson. ("Anne Johnson" is my real name.)

Mindful of today's date, here is some of my fabulous free advice, offered free as always. So take it for what it's worth.

1. If you find yourself in a religion that advocates blowing up bad people, change religions.

2. If you can't change your religion because you're scared that the people arround you will shun, ruin, or kill you, change religions.

3. If a whole lot of people follow one religion, that doesn't mean that the religion is right for you. Change religions.

4. If you don't like the way your religion treats people of the other gender, change religions.

5. If you don't like the way your religion interferes with the science education of your children, change religions.

6. If your religious leaders are telling you how to vote, officially or unofficially, change religions.

7. If you have no religion, please respect those who do. If you do have religion, please respect those who don't.

8. If your religion puts a great deal of time and efforts into fancy trappings, which you can't afford, change religions.

9. If you've never found a religion that fits you like that great old sweatshirt you always wear to rake the leaves, don't stop looking. It's out there. You'll find it.

10. If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.

FROM ANNE
THE MERLIN OF BERKELEY SPRINGS